the last of 2014


The year of 2014 is about to come to an end, and lately i've been having all sorts of thoughts running through my head. Maybe it's the fact that the holidays are around the corner so the same emotional state is swooping in to take over as it has been the last several years. Maybe an aspect of my life is really getting under my skin so I feel like i'm about to burst. Or maybe it's just that time of the year where it's winding down soon and I subconsciously go into deep reflective mode. Either way, this year just seems less cheery than the last. And I'm merely making up for the emptiness with a lot of spending. Fill that void with materialistic satisfaction.

It's not just a cliché to say that life is full of surprises. I guess that's what makes life so enthralling and complex. At the end of each year, I am always either at awe at the things that happened, or disappointed at the things that didn't. The thousands of decisions I make every day keeps weaving and expanding so much that I don't even know if they were supposed to be how they actually turned out. Sometimes I just get lost and overwhelmed by it all, and it makes me doubt those decisions I've made that lead to the end of this year.

So by the time I turn 30 (which is next year), I want to be in a better place. I hope it will be the year where I feel more balanced with myself so that everything else around me will flow better.

I want to appreciate more and waste less.

As I anticipate for another new year, I start planning inside my head a list of things I want to do or accomplish in 2015. Always more hopeful to "plan" because that's the easiest part. Looking back at my 2014 goals, I completed 2 out of 6 items: learned watercolor and set up the work room--oh, and I even learned how to make jewelry. Looking at my bucket list, I also managed to cross off 3 items: got a tattoo (actually got four!), had a blowfish meal in Japan and swam with the dolphins (in Cancun). However, I'm always still playing catching up every year as more/different things keep adding to the list. Or I just scrap the previous years' completely with some new ones.

So here is my 2015 list, which, after some thoughtful consideration, I have narrowed down to 3 goals:

  • start learning Japanese seriously (a three-year plan)
  • be healthy (physically, mentally and emotionally)
  • move forward in my career

Goodbye, 2014. Hello, 2015.